I was a social outcast most of my life. Smarter than average, but socially inept, I alienated anyone outside my closest friends with my faux pas (that’s how you spell both the singular and the plural, look it up). One time I derailed my middle school science class for the full hour with well-intentioned but inappropriate questions abouthermaphrodites – you know the average middle-school student doesn’t need much prompting, so making the rest of the class aware of the term was enough to tip the domino.

In high school I found I could get along better by disguising my intelligence. I avoided any higher-level academic discussions, even in class. I started playing sports (which was actually the best thing that ever happened for my health) and focusing on other extracurriculars. You know what? It worked. Half the school knew me, or at least of me. I had hundreds of acquaintances. Acquaintances. Still only about three close friends.

Even though I was fitting in, I wasn’t contributing much to any conversation. My real interests were math and computers, so what could I say about football or nightclubs? I parroted what the cool kids were saying. They might as well have been talking to a mirror. I hid any trace of my academic excellence or love of video games.

Now that I’m an adult, I unabashedly embrace my nerdiness. I casually show off my Pokémon without worrying what my friends will think. I discuss anything I think of, welcoming everyone to join in but not worrying about catering to the lowest common denominator. And you know what, it works even better than my previous strategy. Even cool people would rather hang around a nerd who acts genuine than a cool guy with nothing to talk about.

You don’t pick your friends because they’re clones of you. You pick your friends because they are different. Different personalities and interests mean that you’ll always have something new to learn from each other or ideas to disagree over and debate. I can now say that I’m a cool nerd, and that my friends like me for who I am. Stay open to others’ ideas while being genuine to your own, and you’ll find yourself surrounded by a variety of friends.